What a difference a year makes!

It seems like so much longer than a year since we boarded the ferry for Tasmania.  If someone had told me we’d celebrate this anniversary in Margaret River with a baby, I never would have believed them.   The trip was nothing like what we had planned; it was so much better.  Thinking about how real life measured up to my expectations made me curious to re-visit the fears and expectations I wrote about before we set sail:

1. I will get eaten by a shark. Or worse, Eric will get eaten by a shark as I watch. 

and

2. Scaling back from the drama of a shark attack, I worry about one of us getting seriously injured or killed along the way.

Phew!  The only scar sustained during this trip was from baby extraction, and that one is rather discreet.  However, the neighbour living just behind us here in Margaret River was eaten by a shark.  He was a father of two in his mid-30s, heightening the perception of danger and reinforcing just how lucky we’ve been.

3. While we're away, we won't be taking any step NOT to get pregnant. Although it would a surprising, happy event if I got knocked up given my defective ovaries, I worry it will happen in the first few months, and in addition to not getting to do all of the fun stuff we have planned, I'll spend a few miserable months feeling puking in a van.

Yup, that happened!  Who knew we’d find out a week in that I was already a month pregnant?  Although I wasn’t puking, those were some rough weeks of early pregnancy in the van.  That being said, how much better was it to be staring at gorgeous scenery from the van than to be nauseous at work?  And how awesome is it that we’re enjoying the first few months as a family in such an idyllic spot?  There were some moments of feeling cheated out of happy hours on the bike or in the waves, but the hours I’ve spent staring at little Genevieve more than compensate for those.  I just can’t believe she’s ours.  As we get more laughs and lingering stares, I find I love her more and more.

4. After all of Eric's hard work on Turquey, she'll blow up in the first month.

As expected, Eric was more than capable of keeping Turquey on the road.  We’ve justified our inability to let her go by imagining family holidays in her once Genevieve is a wee bit older.  Fun, right?

5. Eric and I will kill each other.

Even with the pregnancy hormones pumping, if anything, we strengthened our relationship.  When we were two people living independent lives, focused on our own interests and careers, often in different towns, it was easy to avoid conflict and its attendant lessons.  In a van, facing a major life change like a baby, avoidance was impossible.   

6. Otis, my 13-year-old cat, will die while we're away. At least I know he'd die happy since he's going to be with the best foster parents ever who are going to spoil him rotten. Maybe I should just be afraid he won't want to come back and live with me!

Having visited Otis in January, I now realise the latter is more of a concern than the former!  It was wonderful to see Otis so healthy, content, and well loved.

7. Transitioning back into work will be impossible.

This is even more of a lurking fear now than it was when I wrote it, given that I’m not sure when or where or even what that will be.  We so love Margaret River that we considered staying here, with Eric continuing as a bike mechanic while I squeeze out a sibling for Genevieve and re-train as a secondary school teacher.  However, reality set in when we ran the numbers.  On a good day, we both love the careers we’ve worked so long to establish, and that investment was in part to ensure that we never had to count pennies.  Hitting the re-set button would mean returning to where we were in life almost 20 years ago.  God, we’re old.  It’s hard to believe I was about to graduate from high school when my parents were my age.

8. I'll get tired of being dirty and living out of a bag in the first two weeks and want to come home.

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days when I craved a few more creature comforts, particularly during those long early weeks of pregnancy.  Fortunately, Eric and I both tended to think longingly about showers every 7-10 days.  I don’t think anyone ever got more mileage out of a hotel room than we did every time we splurged.  We would check in as early as possible and get takeaway for dinner to maximise the hours we could enjoy the room.

9. All of our stuff in storage will burn/rot/get stolen. To be fair, though, I was disgusted as I was packing at how much CRAP we have. 

On our visit to Melbourne just after Christmas, we made a mad dash to the storage unit to dig out our good bicycles…in the rain…with a screaming baby in the car.  As Eric pulled out bag after bag of my clothes, I had to remind myself that we used to engage in much more varied activities, each requiring its own costume change.  With our current lifestyle, I get by quite happily with two pairs of shorts and a pair of thongs.

10. I'll get fat.
x

Oh, the irony.  Thank God no one told me I’d gain 45 pounds!  At least I’ve lost 30 of it so far.

Now for the things I'm looking forward to:
1. Living in the same place with Eric.

I really couldn’t have asked for a better partner to take care of me, physically and emotionally, over the past year.  Throughout the nausea, but even more so the introspection and anxiety, he’s been so incredibly patient and more often than not thought of just the right thing to say or do. 

2. Reading, reading, reading

I’m so lucky to married to a man who can also happily spend an entire day only putting down what he’s reading to eat and wee.

3. Listening to podcasts

Most of this happened during the long nights when I couldn’t quite get my fat belly settled in a comfortable position, but there’s no better way to while away the long, dark hours without bothering the person sleeping next to you.

4. Not wearing heels or makeup or fixing my hair or...you get the point
and
5. Wearing whatever feels comfortable in the morning, even if it's the same thing I've been wearing all week

That certainly happened!

6. Riding my bike without having to turn to get to work on time
and
7. Surfing only when the conditions look good

Sigh.  That’s the only regret.  God, I got sick of taking walks.  I realise how lucky I was to have the time and scenic motivation to remain fit during the pregnancy, but it got so boooooring.  At least I had my little buddy, Oscar, to keep me company during the last couple of months.  I so miss him, although the time I spent with him made me think realistically about the investment of time required to have a dog, especially an active breed like a kelpie.

8. Seeing how little money we can get by on - it's like a game!

and

9. Having a meal out or even just a beer be a treat

Pregnancy was a convenient excuse to indulge ourselves with hotels and meals out more than we planned, although somehow we still spent less than we anticipated before settling in Margaret River.  Even if I hadn’t been pregnant, I suspect Eric and I had become too accustomed to spending money freely to be truly thrifty.

10. Watching all of the movies and TV shows we've been saving

I’m not sure how guilty I should feel that Boardwalk Empire and The Wire will always remind me of rainy days in South Australia and Justified will remind me of cold mornings in southern WA when one of us would get up to make coffee before snuggling back up to the laptop until it got warmer…sometimes at 11 am.  There’s nothing more luxurious than watching one episode after another of an engrossing television drama. 

11. Meeting new people

Disappointingly, we didn’t meet nearly as many people as we hoped.  Until we hit Exmouth, we were often the only winter campers in national parks, and it was too cold at night to sit out in lawn chairs and count the stars.  Instead, we had lots of cosy nights listening to rain on the pop top.

12. Eating when and what we feel like

When your only anchor points are meal times, it’s amazing how much thought, and consequently conflict, can arise at the supermarket.  There’s also a degree of creativity required to fit a week’s worth of groceries in a tiny cupboard and dorm fridge that may only run a few hours a day whilst driving.  I was impressed by the cuisine I was capable of producing in our tiny “kitchen” by the end, though.

13. Not being on a timetable

It’s probably good that doctor’s appointments provided some structure for our travels or we might never have made it out of South Australia.  There really is just so much to see in this amazing country.

14. Trying to learn Spanish...again

Hahahaha.  The Spanish books got dumped along with my bike and surfboard when we swung back through Melbourne after Tassie.  In my horrendously nauseous state, I couldn’t imagine ever having the energy to do anything besides stare forlornly out the sliding door.